Binging

I have observed, at least of those who share my personality type, that when we attempt to let go of a materialistic pleasure that has become a bit of an addiction, we need that last hooray. 

That last smoke.  

That last drink.  

That last magic the gathering tournament.  

All or nothing for those of us living in extremes. Moderation is for suckers. 

I've sold quite a bit of magic cards. Made some decent cash too. But then,or now, I feel the twitch and itch to buy back some of those sold. A pull and tug in my conscience. To buy or not to buy. 

"Just things." 

"But cards." 

"Will have more time to write and read." 

"But cards." 

On and on it goes...only the insane understand the futility of fighting it. 

Meds help.  

I am at a loss sometimes. Evaluate my life and wonder about the road I'm traveling. Do I continue with the current trend: watch TV, play video games, buy cards, complain about the lack of good stories in movies and comics? 

Or do I let go? 

How easy will it be for someone like me? Someone like you? We each behave, think, and respond differently. Perhaps the best firsts step would be to understand more about the way I process. I have begun reading about the Enneagram. Very interesting approach to understanding different personality types.   

I have also been brainstorming a few scripts for short films. Need to write those. Another reason for the topic at hand. 

I hope to have more tomorrow. 

May the Spirit grant us peace and sanity.