I Struggle

I struggle each day now, since becoming a dad--a husband--a responsible citizen--to grasp the decisions of some, blindness of others, and refusal from the rest.

The decisions of some who go against, teach against, preach against Christ's teaching and instead push agendas, ideas, and "morality" that contradicts the Master. Our Brother. Our Savior. The decision to be anti-abortion, yet cut programs that assist poor children. The decision to focus on economics over people. To expect each person to think, and act, and respond, and learn the same way a successful businessman (or the progeny of someone successful) would. I struggle to see why so many Christians in American (through deed if not word) place politics, money, success, laws, and established comfort over the souls of fellow people. People--not just Americans--not just Christians.

I struggle understanding the blindness from other Christians who want to walk and talk as if this is all normal and fine. Nothing to see or worry about here. Move on and let the parade play its part.

I struggle with the fact that even one Christian, let alone a large group, would refuse to hear the opinions of others. Who would claim that a Christian who does not share the same idea of atonement is, in fact, not a real Christian. That a group of Christians exist who would judge to hell any who believed in evolution--or that homosexuality is not a sin--or that maybe Christ is more important than any political party.

I struggle with remembering to give all of these concerns to my Brother. To focus on God and will my will to His. As Christ did over two thousand years ago. To remember that Christ lived under Roman rule, high political and religious strain between opposing Jewish factions.  Yet, His focus, will, heart, duty, love, entire being was God and God's will. So, Christ's actions show us a God who loves, forgives, takes care of the poor, and gets rather pissed at the teachers, lawyers, priests, preachers, and others who should have known better than to steal, kill, bribe, and nitpick every facet of the Law.

May this struggle turn into something positive. A desire to grow close to the Christ. To set aside myself or my own views on what is right or wrong and instead allow the Spirit to lead this imperfect heart.


Love to you all, even in our minor and major differences.