Multi-Sided

Our multi-sided self can drive us insane. Maybe you're more level than me and have no idea ehat I am saying. That's cool. I can only speak from ky own experience and the individuals I have observed. 

One side presents a laid back, devil may care hipster. It's not an act, but instead the persona my brain finds most relaxing and maintainable during that specific moment of time.  

I have an obsessive/compulsive side. Where I continually refresh a webpage to see if I have received a new reader of the Spiral Effect. I check,  20 times or more a day to see if anyone has purchased a copy. If anyone has downloaded a copy of the free story too.  

I have a side where I equate my self worth with my financial success. I equate my writing ability with units sold. I spend far too much time evaluating my entire life and writing path. Wondering if people even like me or if they think my stuff sucks.  

Then there is my overconfident self. Fuck it, I'm an excellent writer and storyteller, and I don't need anyone's validation. 

I have a side who finds it irresistible to make sure someone has all the facts. Mainly people I disagree with on politics, religion, music, art, writers. This side assumes that if I could just present this person with the right information, surely they would see it my way. 

Trouble always arises with my instigator self. Arguments with chaos. Get in the last word. Own the prick with a witty retort. Show him or her who has the more secure head. Build an idol to humour at a human's expense.  

All of these are me. I am all of them. A work in progress. Yes, I follow Christ, but I would be a fool to say I was further than I am in this spiritual race. I, we, cannot run or walk it alone. I hope to shed this hyper-individualism and grow closer to you all.